Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconlemmingx3: More from Lemmingx3


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
March 21, 2012
File Size
10.8 KB
Submitted with
Sta.sh
Mature Content
Yes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
28,139 (22 today)
Favourites
720 (who?)
Comments
163
×
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: nudity and sexual themes)
The ropes, they were eating on your wrists as they forced to keep you standing tiptoe on your bare feet. Your legs were weak, you have been standing for about a hour as far as you knew. The cabin you were held in, it wasn't big.. nor was it small. You didn't have the strength to look around however, your eyes were dully staring down at the floor the whole time you stood.

You let out a soft, creaky gasp as you felt the cold metal blade of a sword stroke across your skin. It started at your stomach, and it slowly made its way upwards. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see it, the soft ripping sound of the thin fabric you wore as a shirt was killing you.. the blade cut through it with ease. You could feel tears start to well up at the corner of your eyes, but you desperately tried to push them back.

"M-mercy.. have mercy.. p-please" You whimpered softly, unable to speak higher than a pathetic whisper. You couldn't help it though, you were homeless.. you needed the food, but approaching a pirate's ship while it was docked in order to steal from the supplies.. it wasn't the best idea.. no, it was stupid, but you were desperate for it.

That feeling.. you felt his eyes on you, and you dared not to look up even if you could. The man didn't respond at first, another soft gasp slipped your lips when you felt the cold blade continue to caress your skin, until you felt the cloth fall off.. exposing your upper body to the other. Suddenly the cold touch was resting right below your chin, forcing you to look up at the man. Your [e/c] eyes met his green orbs, they were narrowed.. he didn't look pleased at all.

"I'm sorry, I won't be able to do that, belleza. You were sticking your nose into something you shouldn't have, and I can't let that slip" Your tears grew when you listened to the Spanish man say his words, whatever was going to happen to you, it didn't feel good at all. It could no longer be helped when you felt some tears slip down your cheek, but you looked at the man with some hope.

"B-but.." You started off, taking a sharp breath. "I don't.. h-have.. anywhere to go.. a-and.. I needed.. the food" You panted after you managed to speak up, and somehow you managed to spark the man's interest on some way. He retreated the blade of the sword before he gently put it aside on a small desk in the cabin, along with his hat that hid most of his brown hair.

"Tell me, what's your name?" He asked you, the man remained standing in front of you, his green eyes making contact with your [e/c] orbs once more and you found yourself unable to look away. You weren't sure whether to reply or not, but choosing not to could cause trouble..

"________" You dully managed to reply. As if on cue, you watched as the man suddenly started walking around you, making it impossible for you to see him. It made you feel more terrified because of that.

"Captain Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, call me Captain Antonio" You heard the captain reply from behind you. Suddenly you felt somewhat more relieved as you could pull your bound wrists down, allowing you to stand on the floor properly. It felt odd, your bare feet making full contact with the wooden flooring was something you weren't used to now. You were wobbling slightly, your legs trembled a lot from weakness.

Antonio left your wrists bound, feeling a tug on them you looked at the captain as he walked out in front of you, the end of the rope was held firmly in his hand. Another tug, telling you to follow the pirate for a couple of steps. His arm wrapped around your waist out of nowhere when you took a couple of wobbling steps towards the man, pulling you close to him. You shuddered slightly when you felt his warm breath at your ear, causing a pink blush to spread across your face.

"I'll give you a choice, senorita. Either the pretty lady stays by my side, and I'll give you food and water in return.. or I could get rid of you, simple as that" Antonio whispered in your ear, causing your blush to deepen for a bit. But you knew what it meant to be 'rid of', you wouldn't get a chance to live.. so you didn't have much of a choice, but you knew what that meant as well.. it wasn't much better, but it would be better than being whiped out.

"F-fine.. I'll stay" The moment you answered you let out a soft gasp, a sudden spark of a good feel washed over you as the pirate's tongue trailed along your earlobe. In return you gently grabbed two fists full of his coat, unable to do anymore about it.

You snapped out of the pleasureable feeling as Antonio reminded you that you were shirtless, his warm hand placed itself on your bare skin.. and it moved up to crawl underneath your bra. You wanted to move away from the sudden attack on your body, but as you looked away you felt your head being tilted to face the captain. Your lips were captured by the soft pair of Antonio, you pressed your lips shut as you closed your eyes. You felt his tongue gently trail along your closed lips before he pulled away.

"Don't shut your lips before your captain, chica" Antonio exclaimed, he didn't sound pleased. You let out a small cry out of surprise when he mercilessly dragged you over to his bed, which was tugged away in a corner of the cabin. He pressed you down to lay on your back, you didn't get a chance to struggle at all when he climbed on top of the bed and straddled you.

You tried to adjust your gaze again by looking to the side, turning your head away and attempted to defend yourself by holding your bound wrists out in front of you. You were still not comfortable with this.. Antonio wasn't planning to wait on you at all, he proved that as his hand gently tilted your head to look at him again, completely ignoring your bound wrists. You stared into his emerald eyes once more, your wrists were pushed down against your chest when he leaned in for second attempt.

Antonio's lips met yours again, you wanted to reject him once more but a sudden poke in your side caused you to jerk slightly and part your lips only a little. You felt his tongue enter your warm caverns while his hand roamed around your body slowly, you closed your eyes as you felt the captain's pink muscle explore every area of your mouth.

"Hn.."

A little moan left you in the middle of the kiss when you felt his hand down your skirt, playing with your clit. His finger slid inside ever so slowly, teasing you when he didn't move it either. When the kiss was broken, you looked up at the captain almost painfully. A little tear slid down your cheek from the corner of your eye, only for it to be taken away by Antonio's thumb. His free hand then went down, to the knot of the ropes, undoing them. It was a small relief when the ropes fell onto the wooden floor, giving you some more freedom.

But your body still shivered, you hadn't forgotten it. It was disappointing when he removed that one finger, only to sit up and get rid of his coat. You couldn't help yourself as you watched the captain undress himself until he was down to just his trousers, you didn't realise you were staring until Antonio made his move, taking off your bra, then your skirt and underwear.. exposing you completely. The Spaniard leaned in on you once more, one of his hands was firmly placed on your breast, squeezing it.. while his other hand was planted on the bed to support himself.

"Just relax my pretty senorita, I'll make you want to stay with me~" He whispered lustfully in your ear, his warm breath causing you to shiver slightly.

"...ngh"

You let out another moan when you felt his hand leave your breast, only to move it back into your hole. This time thrusting his digit inside slowly, causing you to moan out here and there from the tiny spark of pain mixed with pleasure. After Antonio sat up next to you, it didn't take long for a second finger to join the first one, making you let go of another series of moans.

"T-Toni.." You moaned out as he thrusted his fingers some faster, your blush deepened and you gripped the bedsheets with a firm grip, bucking yourself into his fingers.. once the captain saw that he grinned while you continued to gasp and moan after each thrust of his fingers.

"No need to be impatient, belleza" Antonio soothingly whispered, his voice was full of lust when his fingers left your hole. You couldn't take it much longer, you let out an unsatisfied whimper when you watched the captain unzip his pants only to have his member pop out from it.. it had grown hard quickly, and he didn't look patient enough to wait any longer himself.

Antonio positioned himself between your legs quickly, pushing them apart with a gentle movement. You let out a long moan when you felt him entering you on a teasing and slow manner until he was fully inside, he didn't move yet as you tried to adjust to the big amount of pain when you realised how big he actually was. You gasped, panting lightly when you suddenly felt the captain's hand on your own hand, his fingers intertwining with yours.

He comforted you by leaning in to you, and he pressed his lips against yours for a third time. You willingly let his tongue roam around your mouth, actually enjoying the feeling. After this kiss broke, he mercilessly started thrusting into you. The pain quickly washed away to be replaced by pleasure, a lot of it. Rapid pants and moans filled the cabin, the bed creaked softly with each thrust given. The pleasure drove you crazy, it didn't take long anymore, you were on the edge..

"Toni.. I.." You couldn't manage to say more than that when you hit your orgasm, coming only a few bits earlier than the captain as he made one last thrust within the closing walls of your hole, followed by a groan from his throat before he came deep inside of you.

There was sweat, and a lot of panting when Antonio eventually pulled out in order to lay beside you. The warm seeds slid down your leg slowly, dripping on the sheets. But you ignored it when Antonio's pair of protecting arms wrapped around you, and you were pulled close to the captain. You remained silent as you rested your head on his chest, and you felt a kiss on the top of your head before his hand stroked through your [h/c] hair.

"Te amo, ______." He whispered into your ear, squeezing you in his protective arms for a moment. You knew that you could not yet return those words, but you weren't desperate to run from him anymore. Antonio seemed to understand, he pulled the bedsheets to cover the both of you before he smiled at you, seeing you had fallen asleep in his arms.

Returning those words.. it would take time, but it could happen someday..
I feel so ridiculous, especially after stating I wasn't going to get near Spain for a good while when I wrote that other lemon as it was requested.. but then I found myself re-reading it, and so many things seemed off. And then I somehow started writing this on my own without anyone needing to ask for it xD

The only reason I did this is because I wanted to improve my writing on Spain, comparing this with the other lemon I wrote I'd say this is much better.. but I can still improve more I guess, so I won't mind if I get things pointed out on a friendly way lol

I had plans to write some random Bad Touch Trio story before, but realising France is in it.. and since I disgust his pervy behavior so much, I've never ever once written him before, and I still refuse to whatsoever.. so that idea kinda bricked down on me. I doubt anyone could make me chance my mind on it though, even though I only look at the bad things of that guy x]

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia in any way.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconisabelabcosta:
I really liked it, honestly! Your fluency is very precise! What I would recommend is just fixing up the error mistakes in the dialogue (like punctuation), and to not end the story so quickly.

When you reach the climax of the story (and of the Lemon,) don't just suddenly stop with them going to sleep. I recommend you writing about the atmosphere of the room, and how it might have changed before, during, and after the Lemon.

Put some more details in there, like how the room is like, or how the reader is bound to the wall (it's a wall right?) before being let go by the Captain. But be careful with details, though. Don't overdue.

The originality was great! There are not a lot of stories that I can find that are Pirate!Spain, though most Hetalia fans adore him. This wouldn't be considered as a rape scene, would it? [The reader] seemed to be loving it. A lot of Pirate!Spain writers write about his eyes, how they're unusually dark green whenever he gets mad. And he lightens up in a second whenever he gets his way or is cheerful.

All in all, just don't end so quickly with the story. Develop it with complexity and it'll be even better! Be careful with punctuations too!

Either way, I give this story a five out of five!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
531 out of 539 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconpeppermintkisses17:
Peppermintkisses17 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Digital Artist
-.- Crap...My Vital Regions.......Now..Let Me Go Fap With My Imaginary Manhood >.>
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  New member Student General Artist
XD OMG XD
Reply
:iconsimrandycunninghamx2:
SimRandyCunninghamx2 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol Spain the rapist. Good story.
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  New member Student General Artist
nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooo WE ARE WAL DOMMED ;-;!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconnarutoeatsasuke:
narutoEATsasuke Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
yeah!!!!!  I  love pirate spain!!!
Reply
:iconthemonstaaaaaa:
TheMonstaaaaaa Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Really? I'm currently having a nosebleed during class XD Any excuses???
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  New member Student General Artist
I bangd my nose on the wall/table
Reply
:icondragonanimegirl180:
dragonanimegirl180 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014
LOL awesome story. 
Reply
:iconseerofdeath:
SeerOfDeath Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Student Writer
:iconnosebleedingplz: Oh mah gawd tissue. PLEASE.
Reply
:iconanimewolfgirl-ayame:
animewolfgirl-ayame Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Hobbyist
:icontissueplz:
Reply
Add a Comment: